The Seed of Apostasy Page 4

control our bodies even in that heightened state of emotion and arousal. That is why we meditate so that our seed does not destroy us.”

  “Ushuon, what are you saying?”

  “I am saying this, Jusong. I am saying I can let the children take my mind to be with the father. I can be with all the fathers and be broken and remade every second, just to be broken again. I can drink from truth like a fountain, and puke it up again because I cannot contain the vile fluid. I can be amongst the heavens, always burning, always dying, always living. Or, I can give in.”

  Jusong only stammered.

  “Be careful what you dream, brother.”

  There was light all around him as fire engulfed him. He used his seed to block the flames from burning him, but his hands were scorched in the explosion. When the light died, there was nothing remaining of Ushuon. He was truly gone. The world turned to black as he heard someone rush into the room. He fell over, unconscious.

  HAte hatred hat hate ugh in the corner of your eye on the back of your neck hate

  “He’s waking up.”

  Jusong opened his eyes. He was in an unfamiliar room with two men he did not recognize. There might have been a nightmare, just like every other night, but something seemed more important than far away dreams. Ushuon popped into his head, but he was unsure why.

  “Where is Ushuon?” he asked.

  One of the two men, the taller one, with a trim goatee but unkempt hair, looked at him sadly. “Ushuon died, Jusong. We… rescued you from what he did.”

  Jusong said nothing, letting the memory flow back. A lump developed in his throat. “I… I see. What happened to him?”

  “He went Insane. He succumbed to that which all devotees of the Five Gods must succumb eventually, unless they die first. But he opted out instead, choosing to die and go wherever it is we go after death. Jusong, we’re offering you a choice like the one Ushuon had.”

  “What choice?”

  The other man, bald and medium sized, with a thin face, placed a seed on the table, much like the ones from the Tree in the Temple.

  “You could eventually ‘Ascend’ or go Insane, however you want to call it, or you could die, like Ushuon. We are offering a third choice. We call this the Seed of Apostasy. No one knows we have it or others like it. Most have not heard of it, save a few of the Oldest Brothers, or the head of the College. But we have it, and we’ve kept it safe for situations like these. This Seed will destroy the seed inside of you, but will not kill you. You will be completely cut off from He Who Basks In Flames. You will never again make magic, or call upon that power. But you will not go Insane either, and you will not have to fight your body to keep it from burning up.”

  Jusong picked up the seed. It was about an inch wide. He examined it for a second and placed it back on the table, not saying anything.

  “You would be branded an Apostate to the Faith, and would be hunted. You could never live in the Capitol again. But you would be free from that reality of which you have gleaned.”

  “How do I know that what Ushuon told me was just the ramblings of an insane man?”

  “They are pretty consistent ramblings if that is the truth. Everyone who has gone through the Insanity talks about the fathers, or the Gods as you know them, and the children, and going to be where the fathers are. Some die, and some bodies stay alive, but comatose for the rest of their natural life.”

  “I see.”

  “The choice is yours. We leave the seed with you. If you take it… we’ll know. We’ll find you.” The two men left the room quietly.

  He gasped awake again, realizing that he had just awoken from a dream. He sighed, stunned at how vivid the dream had been. Then he noticed the seed sitting on his end table. His eyes bugged, and he grabbed it quickly, stuffing it under his pillow.

  There was a knock on the door. Rhuikar entered. “Hello, Jusong. I’m glad to see you awake. It’s been several days since… since the incident. How are you doing?”

  “I am okay. I feel good.”

  “Be careful with your hands. They have been burned badly.”

  Jusong looked at his hands. They were carefully wrapped in linen strips and he felt cold underneath the wraps. He knew if he took them off they would reveal scarred and burnt skin. He sighed.

  “I am sorry, Jusong. We had been trying to help Ushuon, but he was just uncontrollable.”

  Jusong raised a hand to stop Rhuikar. It was surprisingly disrespectful from his position, but Rhuikar heeded it anyway. “It is alright. The Ascension… not everyone makes it through.”

  “Indeed. But I am disturbing your rest. You must need a lot of it. I will see you when you recover.” Rhuikar stood up to leave the room, stopping by the door. “You might be pleased to know that the Emperor officially declared war on the South after a successful battle over the harbor of Tenglith.”

  Jusong managed a smile. Rhuikar left the room quietly, gingerly closing the door. Jusong waited a minute before pulling the seed out from under his pillow. He looked at it, and thought about eating it. His world would change forever. He could not live in the Capitol, and he might always be hunted for what he was.

  He stuffed the seed back under his pillow. I will sleep, and if I dream again of… of the fathers.. then I will take the seed. He closed his eyes, falling into a deep slumber.

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